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DAPHNE ✿
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XVIII. THE MOONprofessionally dxd osdd, cptsd, personality disorder and physical disabilities. white, transmisogyny-exempt, not jewish. ex sex worker. gender/sexuality based on outside perspectives of fluctuation presentation, pronouns, and attraction.notes: current accounting completed march 2024. previous edition still live at cider (crd). almost all linked carrds currently included have not been updated in-line with this new roster. some information may be outdated.socials: cature (tumblr) fromthebes (insta) rowlet, narnia, tarot (crd)default villager: maple the bear
temperament: sanguine
flower: tulips
crystal: garnet
classpect: heir of time
faceclaims: bubblegum (adventure time), snow white (disney), pipimi (popteppic), pom (cr)." you still recite those sad poems from memory, but they don’t resonate in your chest the way they used to. there is an ocean, but it is far away, not filling up your mouth.𝅘𝅥𝅯. what a catch, donnie - fall out boy
𝅘𝅥𝅯. us - regina spektor
𝅘𝅥𝅯. old college try - mountain goats
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MYFANWY ✿
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X. WHEEL OF FORTUNEanp in the sense that it is apparently normal to be a despondant and sad person when you're an incest survivor in your thirties with an art school degree and no mental health support. radical acceptance enjoyer going the speed limit.closest system connection: posy, willow
original system stem: caoimhe, juno, posy
year split: 2024
socials: oilskein (tumblr)(insta) fallow (crd)default villager: fauna the deer
temperament: melancholic
flower: dandelions
crystal: amber
classpect: rogue of mind
faceclaims: betty (adventure time), sailor neptune (pgsm), pomni (digital circus), kyrie (uzumaki), hong seol (citt)." i went out looking for my life in the woods like a bloodhound. you don't know what it can be like to have a story wrapped around you so tight.𝅘𝅥𝅯. pigeons and crumbs - natalie imbruglia
𝅘𝅥𝅯. you oughta know - alanis morisette
𝅘𝅥𝅯. never love an anchor - the crane wives
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ELLIE (EILONWY) ✿
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VI. THE LOVERS.one third of the core. severely parentified, is proud of her kids but needs a chance to get her lost youth back. high femme. gender stuff related to her teen mom era "alters are angels sent to help you with one specific issue" delusions.closest system connection: ben
original system stem: natalia
year split: 2000
socials: vincotto (tumblr) meshi (carrd)default villager: lolly the cat
temperament: choleric
flower: hertiage roses
crystal: red beryl
classpect: witch of heart
faceclaims: sophie (ghibli), blossom (more than human), marcille (dungeon meshi), galinda (wicked), meulin (hs)." when the chorus sing that 'the name of the land will vanish’ regarding troy, they are singing for an audience for whom its name has survived.𝅘𝅥𝅯. 400 lux - lourde
𝅘𝅥𝅯. close to home - vienna teng
𝅘𝅥𝅯. speed the collapse - metric
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BEN ✿
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IV. THE EMPERORirl introject / protector (it's complicated) who split at the same time as posy. handles a lot of the worst ocd symptoms related to the trauma history of cocsa, specifically set up to do so safely. catboy coded emo.closest system connection: ellie, romy
original system stem: tilly
year split: 2003
socials: deadcab (tumblr) brony (carrd)default villager: kidd the goat
temperament: phlegmatic
flower: thistles
crystal: cassiterite
classpect: prince of doom
faceclaims: dazai (bsd), neptune (wktd), obanai (kny), bulma (dbz), dirk (hs)." i worry and want an endless stream of more, but some days i can see the point in growing something, even if just to say i cared enough.𝅘𝅥𝅯. clairvoyant - the story so far
𝅘𝅥𝅯. side effect of the cocaine - fob
𝅘𝅥𝅯. gold rush - death cab for cutie
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POSY ✿
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II. HIGH PRIESTESSsplit from original fictive to handle cocsa memories better. deeply and pettily removed from source. doesn't consider self cis or nonbinary, will not say more. uses "uwu" talk for fun. self-describes as bitchy and fake.closest system connection: ben
original system stem: tilly
year split: 2003
socials: konekoji (tumblr) snails (carrd)default villager: gala the pig
temperament: sanguine
flower: buttercup
crystal: opal
classpect: rogue of life
faceclaims: lumi (genshin), feferi (hs), risette (persona), sakura (cardcaptor), anzu (engirls)." sometimes, you just want something so hard you have to lie about it, so you can hold it in your mouth for a minute, how hunger has a taste.𝅘𝅥𝅯. nonono - apink
𝅘𝅥𝅯. heart's homing instinct - deco*27
𝅘𝅥𝅯. growing up - passpo
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CAOIMHE / CELIA ✿
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XXI. THE WORLDsecret lunatic. handles any practical real world details & internal communication. most likely to be voted "original" or "most balanced." vegan morticia energy. third gender nonbinary (as opposed to absence of binary nonbinary. think antisocial vs asocial.)closest system connection: saoirse, vienna
original system stem: natalia
year split: 2020
socials: comalogic (tumblr) ivy (crd)default villager: pashmina the goat
temperament: phlegmatic
flower: nettle
crystal: torbernite
classpect: seer of rage
faceclaims: ivy (dc), albion (vast error), maki (dangan), mami (pmmm), satsuki (klk)." well over half the year has gone by already, which is a worry. i wanted to make something of myself this year. there’s still time, i think. definitely some time.𝅘𝅥𝅯. sleep to dream - fiona apple
𝅘𝅥𝅯. fire with fire - aliceband
𝅘𝅥𝅯. carolina low - the decemberists
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ROMY (REMIE OSCAR) ✿
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XII. THE HANGED MANtrauma response, severe agoraphobe. last resort problem solver at massive psychic cost to himself every time. ex jock, almost died of it. manic pixie tomgirl genderfluid. tragic extrovert. dream job is "journalist killed by the fbi."closest system connection: ben
original system stem: ellie, oddly enough
year split: 2011
socials: oldsablier (tumblr) hualian (crd)default villager: bunnie the rabbit
temperament: sanguine (melancholic)
flower: forget me nots
crystal: azurite
classpect: prince of life
faceclaims: qifrey (tbna), hakuno (fate), oz (pandora hearts), xie lian (tgcf), eiji (bananafish), julie (motorcity)." we are always hurtling our bodies towards the thing that will obliterate us, begging for love from the speeding passage of time.𝅘𝅥𝅯. cut to the feeling - carly rae jepsen
𝅘𝅥𝅯. lonely people - orla gartland
𝅘𝅥𝅯. jackie and wilson - hozier
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LOWRY (FELICITY) ✿
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XIII. DEATHbitch protector / ex persecutor. wasn't reformed through the power of true love, sofia just actually started to listen to her. severe flat effect, and the worst overt manifestation of pd symptoms. prone to genuine delusional psychosis.closest system connection: ellie
original system stem: ben, kind of
year split: 2010
socials: lunarcana (tumblr) kira (crd)default villager: felicity the cat
temperament: choleric
flower: bleeding heart
crystal: bismuth
classpect: thief of blood
faceclaims: thorn (calief), medea (your throne), maki (kiznaiver), the master (dw), lelouch (code geass)." in order to be lovable, you must first be unforgettable. this is why god does the things god does and why humans in love are terrifying.𝅘𝅥𝅯. st patrick - pvris
𝅘𝅥𝅯. hollow - mayday parade
𝅘𝅥𝅯. makedamnsure - taking back sunday
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SAOIRSE / SOFIA ✿
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00. THE FOOLknowing but airheaded. emotional amnesia enjoyer. does remember traumatic events but cannot connect to them or take their harm seriously after the fact. bad at approaching serious topics with an appropriate tone.closest system connection: caoimhe
original system stem: de-integrated "owlie". no attachment whatsoever beyond nostalgia.
year split: 2020
socials: miffybit (tumblr) aniseed (carrd)default villager: melba the koala
temperament: sanguine
flower: peonies
crystal: mangalo calcite
classpect: seer of void
faceclaims: himari (penguindrum), penny (rwby), hajime (gatchamon), ryou bakura (ygo)." she has a forehead scar from the deep end of a pool. i ask what drowning feels like and she says not everything feels like something else.𝅘𝅥𝅯. kiss me slowly - paracute
𝅘𝅥𝅯. where does the good go - tegan and sara
𝅘𝅥𝅯. i still remember - bloc party
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VIENNA ✿
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XIV. TEMPERANCEep but specifically for fawn responses and sunk cost fallacies. very "let's die together" to avoid phoning the bank. age/sexuality/gender hard to describe as a funny side effect of getting a good grade in "dissociated states are still just you interfacing with your world" therapy.closest system connection: ellie
original system stem: verona
year split: 2023
socials: loveloral (tumblr) cotton (crd)villager: serena the dog
temperament: phlegmatic
flower: foxgloves
crystal: ametrine
classpect: maid of hope
faceclaims: akiho (cardcaptor), fluttershy (mlp), shiemi (blue exorcist)."the suspension of contact between two like people who insist upon loving eachother despite the fact that they may never touch, loving eachother because seeing is sometimes enough.𝅘𝅥𝅯. apple pie - lizzy mcalpine
𝅘𝅥𝅯. silk chiffon - muna, phoebe bridgers
𝅘𝅥𝅯. monopink dream, 2001 - misogi
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VIENNA ✿
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XIV. TEMPERANCEep but specifically for fawn responses and sunk cost fallacies. very "let's die together" to avoid phoning the bank. age/sexuality/gender hard to describe as a funny side effect of getting a good grade in "dissociated states are still just you interfacing with your world" therapy.closest system connection: ellie
original system stem: verona
year split: 2023
socials: loveloral (tumblr) cotton (crd)villager: serena the dog
temperament: phlegmatic
flower: foxgloves
crystal: ametrine
classpect: maid of hope
faceclaims: akiho (cardcaptor), fluttershy (mlp), shiemi (blue exorcist)."the suspension of contact between two like people who insist upon loving eachother despite the fact that they may never touch, loving eachother because seeing is sometimes enough.𝅘𝅥𝅯. apple pie - lizzy mcalpine
𝅘𝅥𝅯. silk chiffon - muna, phoebe bridgers
𝅘𝅥𝅯. monopink dream, 2001 - misogi
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DAILY / NO SHARED ID ❀
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XVIII. THE MOONi consider my osdd and aspd to be fundamentally cptsd sub-symptoms that are specific to the type and duration of trauma i underwent as a child. this obviously impacts the way i talk about all three diagnoses. my system is sorted into sub groupings based on alter priorities and frequency fronting, not any kind of cringey ranking spec.to be harmed by anything that i disclose i would have to actually let random bitches dm me. every person who ever used my illness to harm me was a friend i would have trusted with it in confidence regardless of the danger. i don't have any interest in sabotaging attempts to teach minors online safety... but i also won't remove pertinent information i'm comfortable sharing in private spaces, you know?i call the period of time my alters were either drowned out / sharing an identity "integration" because that was what i believed the process to entail. i also call the traumatic dissolution of that shared identity "de-integration". i genuinely may never know if i simply re-split copies of integrated alters, or de-integrated them. there is no way to be sure that wouldn't prioritize answers over quality of life, so we mostly choose to believe we are the originals for the ease of continuity.the alters who were active in creating that shared identity still collab in presenting a single main id ("daphne") because of how our amnesia lack manifests and share accounts. sometimes we disagree or contradict one another but we don't switch quickly or often, so it's not noticable.alters who do not have shared investments in my relationships or a desire to front often/for long (for reasons related to regressive age, mental state, or general discomfort) collaborate far more loosely on a "subsystem" (shorthanded to "hazelnuts" in conversation). these alters will share my accounts if appropriate, often sit in short-term co-con, and generally manage themselves.on here and on my system carrd, i may use terms ("shell" for bela, "subsystem" for luna) that aren't entirely accurate. i've chosen easily researchable terms for ease of communicating an idea to my friends* since only people i trust and like have access to these pages.i'm comfortable bending the oft-changed terminology of my disorder to my advantage and simply trusting that people will directly ask questions about apparent contradictions or underexplained sections. more personal information about ben or felicity, for example, is something i trust people will go and get from the source.* (bela's splitting being caused by ben specifically needing access pseudo/psychotic memory headspace to safely navigate a situation he was trapped in, luna existing as an easy way to group alters with a similar traumatic root and a steadier connection to eachother than they have with anyone else but who are in no way isolated from the rest of my alters).names that might be mentioned, but aren't for currently existant parts with active pages: tilly (split 1998, at an educated guess), natalia (split 1998, 'de-integrated' 'back' into ellie/ben/posy/romy/owlie in 2017), owlie (split 2014), luna ('subsystem' that contains mina and willow because they split at the same time and switch easiest between themselves).a lot of my parts have also handed the name "robin" and variations of it around as they form if they're in any way related to my mother's psychosis. i do not now or ever really want to get into that, but if that name ever comes up and then vanishes again it isn't a hidden or dormant alter - just a way to indicate that someone who isn't "natalie" is forming in my system.if anything here is incoherent / repetitive please a) ask me if it needs clarifying b) be nice about it. i'm typing this up on the mental equivalent of reversed mario water level controls and intermittently going to lay down in a dark room and forget everything i just realized /remembered / admitted to. it's hard to interface with (psychology) dissociative disorders the way i (neurology) insist on doing.
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PENNY ❀
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VII. THE CHARIOTvery lax fictive. specialized cure for a now-irrelevant situation. mostly internal help, emergency normie override. loadbearing "sister that died before we had to settle for you" cope. gamer girl but for renfair fantasy larp instead of overwatch. bihet coded cisgender.closest system connection: romy
original system stem: ellie
year split: 2011
socials: pinboard (tumblr) dreamhouse (carrd)villager: flora the ostrich
temperament: choleric
flower: hydrangea
crystal: lapis lazuli
classpect: heir of heart
faceclaims: barbie (barbie), cinderella (cinderella), princess peach (mario), pink chocolate cookie (cookie run)."that comes from wanting someone so much you cannot see them as what they could be, or what they were, only as what they are when they are with you𝅘𝅥𝅯. like you do - angel taylor
𝅘𝅥𝅯. love gets me every time - shania twain
𝅘𝅥𝅯. wide open spaces - the chicks
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I. THE MAGICIANilena + chess blend. disabled. fictive pseudomemories re-interpret fatigue and aphasia as positive traits. processes a lot of helplessness into her own social development. the secret fifth otome villainess webtoon "it girl" and frankly better at it than half of them.closest system connection: lowry
original system stem: ben, saoirse
year split: 2022
socials: rosebulb (tumblr) dance (crd)villager: chevre the goat
temperament: choleric (phlegmatic)
flower: datura
crystal: chalcedony
classpect: witch of light
faceclaims: ganyu (genshin), aurora (disney), yushi huang (tgcf)."all language is littered with corpses of words. the shrouds we make for them, the sacred oils we spill to anoint, to embalm.𝅘𝅥𝅯. tam lin (child 39) - anais mitchell
𝅘𝅥𝅯. rocks and water - deb talan
𝅘𝅥𝅯. the crane wife 3 - the decemberists
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ILENA (briony) ❀
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III. THE EMPRESSdisability specific trauma holder. fictive pseudomemories re-interpret fatigue and aphasia as positive traits to have. unattached to characters, fond of setting. tends not to use social media when fronting or delegates it to chess, fronting as part of briony instead.closest system connection: chess
original system stem: saoirse
year split: 2022
socials: cloisons (tumblr) chemise (carrd)villager: tia the elephant
temperament: phlegmatic
flower: baby's breath
crystal: blue lace agate
classpect: maid of heart
faceclaims: odette (bluth), gisele (enchanted), annalise (barbie)."how many times are you allowed to lose the same beloveds before you stop believing they're gone? sometimes paradise happens too early and leaves us shuddering in its wake.𝅘𝅥𝅯. the parting glass - cara dillon
𝅘𝅥𝅯. reverie - debussy
𝅘𝅥𝅯. down by the water - abigail lapell
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CHESHIRE (briony) ❀
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VIII. STRENGTHsub-split from ilena, processes a lot of forced helplessness into her own personal development. has never experienced a pre-pandemic world, is just happy to see a museum. handling the contradiction of being a child treated as an adult for so long through a fantasy "boy king" lens.closest system connection: ilena
original system stem: ben
year split: 2022
socials: pictionair (tumblr) wreath (carrd)villager: agnes the pig
temperament: choleric
flower: hemlock
crystal: flower agate
classpect: knight of mind
faceclaims: erika (barbie), euclase (hnk), akane (nonary)."i've been writing redactions of myself one by one, blacking out everything inflammatory, the carring fiction of history building up between the layer of myself and my second-self.𝅘𝅥𝅯. matty groves - alela diane
𝅘𝅥𝅯. 16 waltzes, op 39, no 3 - brahms
𝅘𝅥𝅯. vixen - destroy boys
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VERONA ❀
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XVI. THE TOWERmanaging more rabid stress responses. there's not a lot else i'm comfortable sharing at this time, and probably never will be. non-human adjacent in a slavic dead thing in the forest way, forced to settle for gumiho art or go fangless. loves classical dance. hates my nails.closest system connection: celia
original system stem: celia
year split: 2023
socials: yakogao (tumblr) foxtail (crd)villager: coco the rabbit
temperament: choleric
flower: hellebore
crystal: obsidian
classpect: bard of space
faceclaims: carmine (pokemon), dong-eun (glory), f!muzan (kny)."how many of us can say we are free from cruelty? of course we hold no tenderness. each time i step outside, something dies at my feet.𝅘𝅥𝅯. fast as you can - fiona apple
𝅘𝅥𝅯. the trapper and the furrier - regina spektor
𝅘𝅥𝅯. old heart falls - katatonia
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BELA ❀
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XX. JUDGEMENTnot dormant but often muted. animal + abuser pseudomems. originally fractured from ben, now far more comfortably settled in his own self. avoids front like the plague. doing something relating to hitting puberty as a gnc kid, but from the other angle romy does it. i think? idk.closest system connection: juno
original system stem: ben
year split: 2020
socials: fidelipac (tumblr) choux (carrd)villager: sable the hedgehog
temperament: melancholic
flower: jasmine
crystal: carnelian
classpect: page of blood
faceclaims: sable again. that's it."the way i break a promise is to forget myself. how monstrous to be always so confused. how animal. oh, there is more of me on the inside. oh, it is eating me alive.𝅘𝅥𝅯. thumbnail - louie zhong
𝅘𝅥𝅯. when the sun hits - slowdive
𝅘𝅥𝅯. love me or leave me - jools holland, emeli sande
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JUNO (YULIANA) ❀
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IX. THE HERMITself-classes as an anp by a certain warped standard. bearer of the curse (severe self harm urges) specifically to be negotiated with. "shell" - esque the same way that bela is. massive kogyaru fan.closest system connection: mina, myfanwy
original system stem: ben, rosanna
year split: 2022
socials: decomie (tumblr) berry (crd)villager: bree the mouse
temperament: sanguine
flower: oleander
crystal: peridot
classpect: knight of rage
faceclaims: futaba (ahr), fumi (tsubaki), nanase (reptile), cure butterfly (precure), kitty pryde (xmen)."if you can hear the music you can imagine the party. i have it all planned: first violent love, then sweetness.𝅘𝅥𝅯. ditto - newjeans
𝅘𝅥𝅯. feather - sabrina carpenter
𝅘𝅥𝅯. bsc - maisie peters
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SABINA ❀
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XI. JUSTICEyet another attempt to make chronic fatigue liveable fulltime, (this time specifically regarding emotional burnout / stress causing the crashes instead of physical overwork).closest system connection: celia, mina
original system stem: verona
year split: 2024
socials:namedaze (tumblr)default villager: dotty the rabbit
temperament: sanguine
flower: thistles
crystal: cassiterite
classpect: prince of doom
faceclaims:" for him, the whole of the rest of his life was an amusing game which no man of taste and intelligence could permit himself to take seriously.𝅘𝅥𝅯.
𝅘𝅥𝅯.
𝅘𝅥𝅯.
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MINA ❀
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XV. THE DEVILholds worst/tackiest personality disorder symptoms. peak intermittent explosive behaviors. more like a traditional persecutor than a trauma holder, but very much is one. actual claire's screamo. chuuni syndome obsession with devils and curses and vampires. named from dracula.closest system connection: juno, willow
original system stem: lowry
year split: 2022
socials: neorexia (tumblr) rosewing (carrd)villager: reneigh the horse
temperament: choleric
flower: larkspur
crystal: cuprite
classpect: thief of hope
faceclaims: yohane (llsif), scara (genshin), sunako (shiki), q (bsd), juuzou (tg)." this is the wound that will not close. touch the plunging suppuration and learn when love is an abcess left to rot.𝅘𝅥𝅯. fear of dying - jack off jill
𝅘𝅥𝅯. whore of babylon - zheani
𝅘𝅥𝅯. dead - the birthday massacre
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XIX. THE SUNkipper + maisy shared. trauma holder for kid-on-kid violence, easily processable by just making friends. very poverty-brained, coping with financial anxiety as best they can.closest system connection: mina, romy
original system stem: romy
year split: 2012
socials: 931470 (tumblr) ftfy (carrd)villager: daisy mae the boar
temperament: sanguine
flower: sweet alyssum
crystal: tourmaline
classpect: maid of mind
faceclaims: kagamine twins (voca), cure yumyum (precure), tenmas (prjsk), seisekis (rozen)."i promise there is joy even if, at times, it feels like it has been refracted through a window, that some meaningful fragment has been lost on its way to me.𝅘𝅥𝅯. so yesterday - hilary duff
𝅘𝅥𝅯. c'est la vie - b*witched
𝅘𝅥𝅯. five colours in her hair - mcfly
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KIPPER (willow) ❀
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XIX. THE SUNanp trauma holder for kid-on-kid violence, easily processable by just making friends. in constant conjoinment, thinking half. very poverty-brained but good at regulating financial anxiety.closest system connection: mina, romy
original system stem: willow
year split: 2022
socials: 931470 (tumblr) ftfy (carrd)villager: sunny the frog
temperament: phlegmatic
flower: peaflower
crystal: moissanite
classpect: mage of void
faceclaims: len kagamine (voca), sora harukawa(enstars), leo harway(fate) tsukasa tenma (ps), souseiseki (rozen)."i promise there is joy even if, at times, it feels like it has been refracted through a window, that some meaningful fragment has been lost on its way to me.𝅘𝅥𝅯. so yesterday - hilary duff
𝅘𝅥𝅯. c'est la vie - b*witched
𝅘𝅥𝅯. five colours in her hair - mcfly
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MAISy (willow) ❀
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XIX. THE SUNanp trauma holder for kid-on-kid violence, easily processable by just making friends. in constant conjoinment, thinking half. very poverty-brained and bad at regulating financial anxiety.closest system connection: mina, romy
original system stem: willow
year split: 2022
socials: 931470 (tumblr) ftfy (carrd)villager: alice the koala
temperament: melancholic
flower: primrose
crystal: aquamarine
classpect: rogue of light
faceclaims: rin kagamine (voca), arisu
shirayuki (t7s), creme (sonic), saki tenma (ps), suiseiseki (rozen)."i promise there is joy even if, at times, it feels like it has been refracted through a window, that some meaningful fragment has been lost on its way to me.𝅘𝅥𝅯. so yesterday - hilary duff
𝅘𝅥𝅯. c'est la vie - b*witched
𝅘𝅥𝅯. five colours in her hair - mcfly
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ROZ (ROSANNA) ❀
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XVII. THE STARsplit from original fictive to forget csa memories. gently attached to original source. fronts exclusively to have a nice safe time with her adopted siblings. loves dress-up or decorating app games. very offline. suspicious, precocious, sweet deep down.closest system connection: ben, posy
original system stem: tilly
year split: 2003
socials: kelffink (tumblr) kirby (carrd)villager: poppy the squirrel
temperament: sanguine
flower: lavender
crystal: charoite
classpect: heir of doom
faceclaims: hanamaru (llsif), nanako (p4), sailor pluto (sm), emily (dh)."i am doing something i learned early to do. i am paying attention to small beauties, as if it were out duty to find things to love, to bind ourselves to this world.𝅘𝅥𝅯. the entire mlp soundtrack
𝅘𝅥𝅯. especially equestria girls
𝅘𝅥𝅯. and especially villain songs
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